I Don’t Want to Be “That Guy”

 In Jason Bunger

We all know someone we call “that guy.”  None of us intends to be “that guy” that most people avoid. Everyone knows the deficiencies of “that guy” except “that guy.” He is the person that sees the fault in everyone else, but is completely clueless to his own failings. He is both a man without honest friends and a man without a mirror.

We all describe “that guy” differently.  However, here is a description of “that guy” I fear becoming.  I never want to be:   

That guy who becomes bitter as he gets older.

That guy who is unaware that his life and theology are filled with contradictions and inconsistencies .

That guy who has to die before a church can move forward.

That guy who has to explain a moral or ethical failure to his children.

That guy who is part of a church community where someone unqualified is leading because someone qualified can’t be found.

That guy who is defined for the rest of his life by words or actions he expressed in a moment of fear or anger.

That guy who sees his daughters marry men that mistreat them because they: 1) saw similar traits in him; 2) think that they don’t deserve any better; or 3) are just looking for the first opportunity to get away from home. 

That guy who loses both his ministry and his family because he always puts his ministry before his family.

That guy who becomes indifferent toward systems of genuine injustice.

That guy who quit growing years ago, yet never realized it.  He is the reason a team is stuck. 

That guy who is unaware of his poor hygiene, outdated clothes, or a creepy personality.

That guy that is the reason people say they reject Christianity.

What concerns me is “that guy” is just like every other guy, except that he doesn’t have a spiritual or relational mirror.  He can see clearly everyone else, but cannot see himself from the perspective of others.  He does not realize that he is “that guy.”  Nor can he.  

Perhaps this is why Paul told Timothy to “Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers.” (1 Timothy 4:16).  Jesus, warns us about judging “that guy” and about failing to recognize that we might just be “that guy” when He warns us about seeing the “speck in another’s eye” and not being able to see the “log in his own eye.” (Matthew 7:3)

Unless we are prayerful, repentant, and in honest, Christ-centered relationships, we all run the risk of being “that guy” or “that girl.”  If it is not for the grace of God in my life, I have no hope that “this guy” will not become “that guy.” 

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